J.L. Bryan’s wonderfully spooky Haunted E-Book Tour has landed at Darkeva’s Blog! Woohoo!
Welcome to Day One of Three of the tour stop — today, I’m featuring Jeff’s guest post. I know many of you have found his post on seance parties to be utterly hilarious (myself included), so I think you’ll enjoy this one too…
ULTRA FABULOUS GINORMOUS “HOLY BAZUNGA!” GIVEAWAY: Please be advised that if you’re entering the giveaway, comment on this post only and not on the forthcoming ones to make collecting comments easier for Jeff. I’ll include the link to this post on Days Two and Three, so you’ll still have the chance to enter for 7 days (until January 28), and I do encourage people to enter, because it’s a fantastic giveaway. To read more about all of the prizes, which include a Haunted Library of E-Books from many authors, a few Kindles, and even more great stuff, click here.
Jeff: Thanks to Darkeva for hosting the fourth stop on The Haunted E-book Tour! I feel so at home here after my previous visit. I hope she doesn’t mind if I put my feet on the table.
Darkeva: Totally don’t mind, dude. There’s a couch in the back if you ever feel like crashing, too
By J.L. Bryan
Today, we’ll discuss some of the pros and cons of being haunted by a ghost. Some of you may be surprised to learn there are pros. Others, perhaps of a darker and ghoulier bent, might not have considered the downsides to being haunted. Let’s hear your opinions about the pros and cons in your comments below!
PRO: With a ghost in the house, you never have to worry about being alone. You’ll always have someone to talk to, no matter how boring your conversation or how much you complain.
CON: The ghost may not have much to say back to you. A ghost’s conversation may be limited to raspily whispering “Help me” or “Get out!” This can get dull quickly. Some ghosts won’t even speak to you, they’ll just moan and groan all day, like that annoying lady at work—you know the one.
PRO: A ready-made excuse to get out of social engagements. “Oh, I can’t tonight, my poltergeist is acting up.” Just knock a few things over in the background while you’re talking on the phone, and you’re golden.
CON: Ghosts can make it difficult to have guests, especially overnight. After your friends or family members get chased out of your home by a screaming headless phantom, you just know they won’t be coming back for your Christmas party.
PRO: A ghost can provide you with some assurance that you’ll have life after death. This should comfort you when the mysterious piano music drifts up the stairs late at night.
CON: It seems like your afterlife may consist of nothing but wandering around your house, occasionally punching keys on the piano to break up the boredom. And what happens when your house finally collapses from disrepair? Then you’ll just be haunting an ugly eyesore. Not too glamorous.
PRO: Ghosts can bring adventure into your life. You’ll find yourself poring over crumbling old books, meeting with weird professors of the occult, and having the Ghost Hunters spend the night monitoring your house for electrical anomalies.
CON: The adventure may also consist of having your stuff smashed, blood running down your walls, and the sounds of a horrific murder happening again and again in your living room. “Adventure” cuts both ways.
PRO: Your ghost might be an attractive member of the opposite sex (or the same sex, depending on your orientation). A lady in transparent white lace, or a hunky, brooding man, might be just the thing to spice up your life.
CON: For the most part, you can look, but you can’t touch. And even if you can touch, it’s going to be pretty darn cold, possibly leaving frostbite on whatever you’re touching with.
PRO: Your haunting experience could bring you a greater appreciation of life—enjoy things now, before you get all disembodied and mournful.
CON: If you have a violent, demonic sort of ghost, your life could be cut short.
PRO: Some ghosts are helpful, and may ward off more dangerous spirits from infesting your home. It’s good to have friends on (or near) the Other Side.
CON: You might get a very social ghost who invites all her ghostly friends over. One ghost becomes two, then three, then ten. Next thing you know, you’ve got Slimer eating out of your fridge and snoring on your couch. At this point, the best you can hope for is that your local priest or parapsychologist has a decent multi-exorcism discount, or at least a “Frequently Haunted Club Card” so your sixth exorcism is free.
Surely there are more pros and cons—mention some below! A comment within seven days of this post enters you to win a double prize of two ebooks: The Haunted E-book and my short story collection, Dark Tomorrows. Plus you’ll be entered to win one of the blog tour Grand Prizes, including The Haunted Library and one (possible two!) Kindles. See details on The Haunted E-book Tour page.
***SPECIAL PRIZE*** Before starting the tour, I used random.org to pick certain blogs for paperback giveaways. I’m happy to announce Darkeva was the first winner! This means you won’t just win the pair of e-books, but you’ll also win a paperback copy of The Haunted E-book, shipped right to your preferred snail mail receptacle. Darkeva will pick the winner according to her usual giveaway rules.
Darkeva: Rock and roll! I feel like I’m on The Price is Right for some reason As Jeff said, my giveaway rules are simple and coincide with his. Please comment on this Day One post only, and leave your name, email, Twitter handle if you have one, and the answer to Jeff’s questions (see above). To increase your chances of winning here, add me on Twitter or my Facebook page. Jeff has his own ways that you can stack the odds in your favour here.
Jeff: Thanks for following the blog tour! I’ll be here at Darkeva’s all weekend. Until she kicks me off the couch.
J.L. Bryan studied English literature at the University of Georgia and at Oxford, with a focus on the English Renaissance and the Romantic period. He is the author of five novels and one short-story collection. His new novel is The Haunted E-Book. The sequel to his novel Jenny Pox will be available by Summer 2011.